Struggles are inevitable, part of our human experience and existence. Each person’s dark days are dark, no need to compare who has it worse or better. People suffer about everything – their bod, marriages, careers, money, family, health, etc. There are a lot of facets of our lives and at some point, there will be heavy challenges to face. It’s what life is.
But the way we think and deal about it is the difference. A dear friend said to be last week that she considers big life challenges as opportunities to stretch and grow. Indeed! When we wade through the heaviness of the struggle, we can find a deeper understanding of life and the people in it.
In Bryon Katie’s book, Loving What Is, she expands on this idea. Her concept is we can’t change how things are yet we can change our thoughts about it. Amen. This perspective and corresponding actions are the tools to dramatically accept challenges and move away from suffering and hating.
Her are some actions you can take to get through a big struggle:
1. Recognize that you have a crummy, annoyed, tight-in-my-chest feeling.
2. Ask yourself if you’re ready to be over “it” to push forth to the ‘other side’.
3. If so, then turn your attention to shifting.
4. Reach out to trusted people in your life for support.
5. Write out all of your thoughts in a way that feels you let it all out, the good, bad and ugly..
6. Ask yourself a slew of questions about what you are willing to let go of to find resolve in the situation.
7. Remind yourself that you need to get through the fire to find the next chapter. And that you, yourself, have your own back in the process.
It hit me like a thud when someone said it to me. I was blindsided by it and it radically changed my perspective...for the better. I'm referring to the realization that the thoughts I had in my head were deeply affecting my life.
There is absolutely no way to know when our last day will be. Ultimately, we don't have control of this. Scary, for sure, especially when so much of our lives are predicated on various systems or controls -- laws, logic, etiquette.
As a parent, spouse, coach, daughter, friend, yogi, cook, housekeeper (sort of), and NYC city dweller, life is full and fast. I love doing things. I like action and revelry but I also love my quiet alone time.
A dear client of mine was having a hard time and couldn't find balance in her life. She was working a lot, late into the evenings on weekdays and most weekends. She was stressed out, over eating, missing her family...
Just 30 days ago, I began a challenge to write a blog post for 30 days straight. It knew it would help me reach more people and I love writing. But there were thoughts in my head that were negative; fleeting ideas that maybe I didn't know what to write about and concerns about what people might think.
This may be obvious to some but often times people forget the importance of maintaining the basics of self care. There are some fundamentals that need to be accounted for in one's life to make for overall well being and balance.
I've been thinking about 2016 and what I want to create in it. I have a process that works. It's a straightforward recipe that gets me in the groove of making what I want happen. If you follow it, it will work for you as well.
In October, I wrote a post about recognizing one's thoughts and making a effort to shift it towards joyful ideas when you recognize that your thoughts are 'somewhere else'.
Ack! Can you picture walking away from a conversation with a new group of people or familiar folks and feeling insecure about what you shared?