When you don't do what you *know* will make you feel good and free, you suffer. You suffer in various ways -- by feeling doubtful about yourself, by blaming someone else, by eating when not hungry, by wanting to 'escape'. Bottom line, this is all needless suffering and ultimately a distraction from what you truly want. Somehow it seems so reasonable and sensible to be upset, though. Thoughts may go something like: "He doesn't help me enough so I'm not where I need to be". "I'm miserable. All that will make me feel better is a great meal". "She really doesn't care". "He is such a faker". All of this is a battlefield, a fight filled with suffering. All you need to do is drop the drama-fest and stop avoiding what you know you want to do or need to say. Of course, this isn't always easy (but easy doesn't necessarily mean 'best'). I'm standing on my soapbox over here and beating the drum -- do the thing that you need to do (or get help from someone else who can support you in doing it).
Stop avoiding what you know for sure will make you happier.
It hit me like a thud when someone said it to me. I was blindsided by it and it radically changed my perspective...for the better. I'm referring to the realization that the thoughts I had in my head were deeply affecting my life.
Perfectionism comes in a variety of forms but let's break it down in the hopes of helping you end the perfectionism habit.
There is absolutely no way to know when our last day will be. Ultimately, we don't have control of this. Scary, for sure, especially when so much of our lives are predicated on various systems or controls -- laws, logic, etiquette.
As a parent, spouse, coach, daughter, friend, yogi, cook, housekeeper (sort of), and NYC city dweller, life is full and fast. I love doing things. I like action and revelry but I also love my quiet alone time.
A dear client of mine was having a hard time and couldn't find balance in her life. She was working a lot, late into the evenings on weekdays and most weekends. She was stressed out, over eating, missing her family...
Just 30 days ago, I began a challenge to write a blog post for 30 days straight. It knew it would help me reach more people and I love writing. But there were thoughts in my head that were negative; fleeting ideas that maybe I didn't know what to write about and concerns about what people might think.
This may be obvious to some but often times people forget the importance of maintaining the basics of self care. There are some fundamentals that need to be accounted for in one's life to make for overall well being and balance.
I've been thinking about 2016 and what I want to create in it. I have a process that works. It's a straightforward recipe that gets me in the groove of making what I want happen. If you follow it, it will work for you as well.
In October, I wrote a post about recognizing one's thoughts and making a effort to shift it towards joyful ideas when you recognize that your thoughts are 'somewhere else'.
Ack! Can you picture walking away from a conversation with a new group of people or familiar folks and feeling insecure about what you shared?