Your life unfolds in proportion to your courage - Anais Nin.
This favorite quote of mine reminds me of a wonderful client. When I first began working with her, I was taken by her calm coolness. She impressed me and it was clear that she was confident in her successful career and community but wanted a great love affair. For years, she had 'surface' relationships with men, ones where she was generally sharing only parts of herself. She was also picked men that didn't want or weren't available for the deep connection she truly desired.
When she relaunched her online dating profile, she explained that most of the men that contacted her were flaky and non-committal. Along with some other guidance, I asked her to be more 'out' about herself in her dating exchanges AND in her profile. I wanted her to stop hiding herself in a veneer of 'coolness' and sass. What she wanted in a relationship was warmth, excitement and intimacy and she was presenting the opposite.
She bravely took the leap to be open and honest in her communications, sharing more of herself and her personal hope and dreams. The strategy worked and she found a match, an adoring man that delighted her. She learned that exposing her essential and authentic hopes would lead her towards joy and fulfillment, possibility and opportunity.
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It hit me like a thud when someone said it to me. I was blindsided by it and it radically changed my perspective...for the better. I'm referring to the realization that the thoughts I had in my head were deeply affecting my life.
Perfectionism comes in a variety of forms but let's break it down in the hopes of helping you end the perfectionism habit.
There is absolutely no way to know when our last day will be. Ultimately, we don't have control of this. Scary, for sure, especially when so much of our lives are predicated on various systems or controls -- laws, logic, etiquette.
As a parent, spouse, coach, daughter, friend, yogi, cook, housekeeper (sort of), and NYC city dweller, life is full and fast. I love doing things. I like action and revelry but I also love my quiet alone time.
A dear client of mine was having a hard time and couldn't find balance in her life. She was working a lot, late into the evenings on weekdays and most weekends. She was stressed out, over eating, missing her family...
Just 30 days ago, I began a challenge to write a blog post for 30 days straight. It knew it would help me reach more people and I love writing. But there were thoughts in my head that were negative; fleeting ideas that maybe I didn't know what to write about and concerns about what people might think.
This may be obvious to some but often times people forget the importance of maintaining the basics of self care. There are some fundamentals that need to be accounted for in one's life to make for overall well being and balance.
I've been thinking about 2016 and what I want to create in it. I have a process that works. It's a straightforward recipe that gets me in the groove of making what I want happen. If you follow it, it will work for you as well.
In October, I wrote a post about recognizing one's thoughts and making a effort to shift it towards joyful ideas when you recognize that your thoughts are 'somewhere else'.
Ack! Can you picture walking away from a conversation with a new group of people or familiar folks and feeling insecure about what you shared?