Perfectionism comes in a variety of forms. Let's break it down in the hopes of helping you curb the perfectionism habit.
ENJOY THE CHALLENGE
Striving for what we want is brave. Within that effort are many moments of challenge -- there are issues that need to be solved and decisions to be made. This can be both emotionally and logistically stressful yet in this challenge is a choice. One choice is to adopt the overall mindset of: I-will-enjoy-and-learn-from-this-effort and another option is: Crap!-I-must-do-this-perfectly-and-if-I-don't-there-will-be-failure.
SEEK THE DIFFERENCE
These are not necessarily conscious thoughts (and certainly there are other thought processes) but the 'I must do it right or perfect'-type thinking will likely lead to suffering. This suffering comes from a rigid and harsh judgmental thought process that ultimately fosters an inner imbalance and insecurity.
BE A PROBLEM SOLVER
So, you don't have to think in a way that causes unnecessary discomfort. What if you decide that you can tackle the challenges with openness and a belief that all of your challenges will be managed? Even better would be the belief that you will and can find a good solution. This sets you up for a pleasant and even, educational ride. Also, take relief in knowing that there are usually a few solutions to a single problem. Find the one you like best and surrender your worries.
RELATE TO RISKS IN A FRIENDLY WAY
That said, striving for what we want is risky but that doesn't mean we have to freeze and not take them. Adopt a responsible approach to risks. Certainly, be sure it is the right risk and a reasonable one but then plot out your plan as best possible. Don't let the 'perfectionist' head space keep you stagnant.
SELF COMPASSION
Let's look at how perfectionism fosters an inner imbalance and insecurity. If we unravel the layers of perfectionism, we discover a cycle of 'approval seeking'. What perfectionists are unconsciously or consciously saying to themselves is, 'I'm not really enough right now.' The thrust of perfectionism is searching and hoping that the next accomplishment will 'make me better'. It's not true! Instead, try on the self compassion mindset. When you notice you are being harshly perfectionistic, respond to yourself with kindness. Take a moment to drop them or better yet, disprove them.
ASK YOURSELF SOME QUESTIONS
To do so, you can ask yourself, what does this perfectionism make you feel? Free? Joyful? I doubt it. Maybe it's more like - agitated, tight, and stressed? Then ask yourself how would you feel without the obsession to be perfect. Imagine it. Try to feel it. I bet you'd feel so much better. So we can conclude that the difference from feeling stressed and not stressed comes from to a simple harsh thought. Consider that you can notice these thoughts and decide they aren't serving you. Notice the thoughts and let go of the ones based in the desire to be perfect. Notice and let go. Notice and let go.
If you need help or support to curb your perfectionism, please schedule a free consulting session.
It hit me like a thud when someone said it to me. I was blindsided by it and it radically changed my perspective...for the better. I'm referring to the realization that the thoughts I had in my head were deeply affecting my life.